Keywords for my 2013

Before making any plans for 2014, you should “clean the plate” for 2013.

Was about:
1) Intentionality – i chose to start being a „delivery manager” in Scoala de Valori. I committed to not dropping any balls in any of the projects the organization had to implement. It was wild, it was tiring, it was awesome. I decided to continue doing it, get better at it and make „pretentiousness” a culture for the entire team.

2) Uncluttering – we have our own house. I have been dreaming of this and rehearsing in my head how it will be and how it will feel, and how it will look, since a long time ago. Now it’s done. We did it. We have it. To celebrate it, we threw away and gave away lots of stuff, starting fresh can’t be bad, no matter if you move in a new place or you are just doing the annual cleaning of your closet.

3) Noticing – or being “event wise” – from noticing people, with details such as untied shoes strings, to noticing the world becoming unhappy and bees getting extinct. From mirroring my mother’s contagious happy-making laugh, to witnessing my granddad’s death and my 30’s self-questioning, which seems to have taken almost a whole year.

4) Being in the now – I deliberately forced myself to stop making plans or making people from my past hiccup because I am thinking of them. Living in the now is like a breath of fresh air, so why the hell do we tend to neglect this “present” and give so much attention to nonsense? It proved to be hard, and sometimes scary, it felt joyful and sometimes it triggered a depression because of the insecurity it brings. If you can surpass all these, the present is a wonderful gift you can make to yourself.

5) Selfish generosity – I like to call generosity selfish as a reminder to myself that I don’t do it exclusively for the others, like perhaps a philanthropist would, but rather because this makes me happy. Generosity by investing time in other people’s development and feeding your ego on their growth. Generosity by paying for dinners just to get energy and food for thought out of the meaningful conversation that usually grows when people gather around food…when they reach desert.

6) Reliving simplicity – from putting my hands in dirt and moving a flower to a bigger pot to staying in a motel below the comfort I am used to. From saying “yes” to last-minute invites to which even when planned I would say “no”, from writing using pens and colors besides the daily dose of laptop typing, to cooking simple dishes with a twist of originality. To leaving empty spaces and white walls in our new home.

What 2013 wasn’t about:
1) Sports – I was terribly lazy and my body feels it. I yearn for the physical muscle ache you feel after training in a fitness hall. I am glad I started it though. If you find a trainer with a strong will, he will help you uncover muscles you never knew even existed. I just need to build enough anchors to keep doing it.

2) Reading – although it restarted in 2012 when I got a kindle as a present, I am so glad I managed to get myself into reading and stayed in there. It’s tough when you like reading fantasy, but there are so many books about reality. I am not so happy though that I did not read as much as I planned to.

3) Love – it was there, it always is. Given and received. But somehow I feel like I received more than I gave. And since “giving” makes people happy, I guess I got depressive at times because of this.

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